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“Every season, You remain… I will enter your gates with thanksgiving and Lord I run into your arms..My lips will sing of your goodness for  Your love illuminates my heart. My lips will lavish praise upon You… For You are Emmanuel… God with us.”

Shaking historically, not because I was nervous or scared, but I think of the medicines and anticipation that the time had finally arrived. How long 9 months quickly arrived. As I entered the operating room, the staff, nurses, etc. were all so gentle, caring and full of love. 80’s music rocked in the background, which of course made me smile. All I could say and think about was where my husband was. Bright lights, freezing cold, blue medical capes everywhere, people hustling… and such a sweet doctor explaining everything he was doing and calming my nerves until my husband walked in (which I later found out he walked in with my insides just hanging out on the outside of me… YIKES!) This, by far, exceeds any other day of my life. As Cliff comforted and smiled at me (and I know he was just as excited as I was), feeling slight pressure on my belly, Michael Jackson’s thriller playing in the background, Dr. McDonough told me I was going to feel like someone was sitting on me and before I knew it I heard that sweet baby cry. There is not a single word that can possibly express that very moment. What was ten seconds felt like five minutes before they came around for me to see my sweet Elijah. As soon as they pulled him out everyone joked at what a big baby he was, which was true! The nurse propped him up, faced Cliff and I and said “take all your newborn clothes back!” As Cliff held him I was mesmerized by his chubby little face and head full of hair. The most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen, of course 🙂

I quickly began to feel sick, which we expected since I normally do on anesthesia, so I couldn’t hold him and could hardly keep my eyes open from the medicines. They cleaned up Elijah and Cliff took him out to introduce him to the world which they fixed me up and took me recovery.

Next thing I recall is waking up in recovery with a nurse sitting by my side anxiously awaiting me to awake to get me back to my husband and sweet boy. She immediately began to hook and unhook me with all those tubes and fancy medical devices and wheeled me down to see everyone. I couldn’t hardly wait to see Elijah and especially Cliff. I entered to a room full of people and as out of it as I was, it was so refreshing to know that they were by our side, supporting us and loving this baby as much as we did.

The second Cliff walked over to me with that baby I began to cry my eyes out. What a miracle. So healthy. Such a gift from my FAITHFUL God! Certain things in life you always dream about- like your wedding day, which exceeded all I could have ever imagined. And the day you become a mother, and nobody can prepare you for that moment. Cliff, Elijah and I sat still for hours starring at each other, as a family of 3, praising God for giving us a child for which we had prayed. I was so out of it from the medicines, emotionally spinning in circles, and tired from all we had been through… but I wasn’t going to let anyone take my sweet boy unless his diaper needed to be changed 😉

The next few days to follow were difficult. Between breastfeeding, which is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. To trying to move around after a c-section because my name is Amanda and I can’t sit still. My nurses were amazing, always there, informative and supportive of whatever I needed at the moment! Trying to learn a new baby, it’s noises, cries, body language and just sitting and enjoying him FINALLY being here!

We went home Saturday and the roller coaster began. Cliff and I walked into the house and immediately looked at each other like “this is real life” and “where are the nurses”…. haha 🙂 Our family and friends are so gracious to us. We came home to a clean house, dinners prepared, welcome notes, gifts and balloons that made our hearts overflow. For the next 4 weeks Cliff and I made a cot on the couch, put a baby in a swing and I swear I stayed up for weeks straight making sure he was breathing, as any first time mom does I’m sure! Every time Elijah cried and screamed (as I learned later is very normal) I think we cried too as we learned him and his behaviors. Trying to balance when he should eat, how long or how much and if his poops were normal and many times we both were like “I don’t know, Google is telling me different things!!!” Cliff and I adjusted after a few weeks and things are starting to fall right into place.

A husband, whom I completely adore. A baby boy that I love more than life. A family a girl couldn’t dream of. A God who is ALL that He says He is and will do all that He promised.